50 Shades of Oil
It’s the publishing sensation that has swept across the globe – and it has certainly been the talk of the kitchen here at Kerfoot HQ, The Olive House for a number of weeks.
“What is vanilla?”….. “what is BDSM….. is it legal?”
Well quite frankly this male, middle-aged (but still sexy!) employee has had enough, especially given that trilogy is packed with ideas that seem to have been plagiarised directly from The Kerfoot Group.
Bondage contracts? We issue sales contracts every day, and anyone who’s seen my contract of employment would think I’d been sold into bondage!!!
S and M? We’ve had RSO, WSUN, PNO and every three and four-letter acronym known to man to refer to our stock for years. Let’s be honest, if somebody asked the commercial team for KSO if they were into BDSM they’d say “yes, we stock over 500 different oils – would you like it in an IBC, 20litres or 5litre?!”
Red Room of Pain? What can I say? Our meeting rooms of course – we’ve got the Olive, Coconut, Almond and Lavender Rooms. And as for the pain, anyone who’s been in a room with Simon Corner, our Kerfoot Bulk Oils Trader for more than 10 minutes will never have experienced agony like it.
It took 3 books to get to the point, well EL James (the author of the aforementioned tat), yours truly, a prime Northern lad can sum it up in one sentence. “BRACE YER’SELL MAVIS!!”
Gary Giles, Group Systems Accountant