Kerfoot Factories vs. Kerfoot HQ
On any given Sunday…
Reporting from the goal mouth: Thomas Kerfoot (aka The Cat Jnr).
17th August 2014, Victoria Pleasure Ground, Goole.
It has been talked about for so long, finally the clash of Olive House (OH) vs. Goole Factories (GF) finally took place. The sun shone for this righteous occasion where the finest pen pushers of the north were to take on the muscle of Goole at the Victoria Pleasure Grounds, Goole.
Goole Factories 3 – Olive House 1
Both teams lined up in good contention for the title for The Kerfoot Group Cup. OH led by Liam Snaith were missing key personalities, Haughney, Jacques, Hodgson (Rich) & Stoddart who shamelessly favoured a beer festival in London. GF however arrived well-conditioned and in full force to take down their colleagues in HQ.
An energetic start to the game kept things tight until GF soon took pole position with 2 refined goals from Williams putting victory in the sights of the Goole boys at half time. Strong words in the dressing room from Coach Craig Cunningham meant that he knew there would be some repercussions from HQ come the 2nd half. He was not wrong with a tidy finish from Chapman for OH 15min into the 2nd half. GF however pressed on and decided to take full advantage of the opposing midfield of which veteran Corner was clearly struggling after his recent battles with the weigh in scales pre-season. 5 mins later cue the decider from GF. OH were not fazed and pushed on to create some fantastic opportunities in the goal mouth of GF, however nothing the Cat Kerfoot Jnr couldn’t handle resulting in 2 clinical saves to keep the Goole boys ahead till the final whistle.
Key performances from Schofield (Bart) in midfield, Rye down the left flank & Darbyshire at the back of who looked dangerous on the break. There were signs of more goals from OH if only Snaith had attempted to break a sweat down the right flank.
GF, although a rounded performance has to pay homage to Hodgson (Mick), Butler & Clark at the back who kept a solid line to refrain the enforcing OH midfield. Not to mention a relentless attack from Stannard, Williams, Batten & Hudson (Craig) who continued to confuse the pen pushers on the attack. If only Fabio Silva (with a name like that!) would wake up & score…
We have to mention the Gladiator Morley who although spends his day either in a rugby scrum or on the M1 in his truck, spent more time on the outside lane today covering much of the right flank. A top effort teaming up with fellow driver Mick to take on their Logistics manager Peter Hodgson who looked like he had been pulling a trailer for 90mins in the post-match conference.
Although a decisive win, it was a tight, fair game. Plans are already in place for the return Leg @ RP Stadium (Northallerton) where we will see the return of some key OH players which should prove for an even more interesting battle.
2 pints later and after much deliberation as to whether Liam Snaith did actually perspire and what hair product Ross Johnson uses to maintain his impeccable barnet throughout the game, there was a fantastic mutual respect between so many divisions within The Kerfoot Group. Brilliant to see. Thank you Craig Cunningham for arranging a superb afternoon of football and we look forward to seeing the 2 power houses clash again later in the year.
On top of it all, we raised a whacking £400 for Cancer Research in the process. Thank you to all players and supporters that made the effort to come out and support.
POST MATCH REACTION:
Jennifer Kerfoot (CEO) – “a wonderful afternoon & delighted to see the boys get together and make my HQ sweat a little. I can breathe a sigh of relief – no injuries!”
John Thompson (Operations Director) – “just on my way to collect my winnings at Ladbrokes, I knew it from the start, I have seen those lads fill IBC’ long enough to see what sort of performance they can produce on the field”.
David Kerfoot (Chairman) – “every day is a Wednesday”.
Ross Johnson (Operative) – “its L’Oreal ok, because I am clearly worth it….”
Simon Corner (Trading manager) – refused to comment. Post-match rumours have revealed Mr Corner was seen writing a cheque out to Kerfoot Cat Jnr. Fosters & Burger King have both confirmed that they will be terminating their sponsorship deal with Corner for the next clash.